Narcissism

Today, I heard someone say that blogging is narcissistic.  I agree… and funnily enough, I got inspired to blog when I heard that.  I’m not sure what that means… and all you people interested in psychology can go have a field day with that.  :)

With a title like this one, I guess it would be fine and apt to talk about me.  Well, what is my blog, other than my opinions anyway.  So, here’s what I think.

I think that everyone needs goals in their lives to work towards and that these goals and their importance are embedded in us from our upbringing; from the moment we learn about what is good, bad, important and not.  Of course, I believe that we can change the way we think and thus, our goals as we grow older.  And of course, people are born with distinct characters, which shapes our goals and concepts too.

My goal, since being a child, has always been to achieve.  In school, it was about results, about what I can do, and about wanting people to recognize that.  After school, it was about achieving in my career and about how high up the career ladder I can climb.

This changed when we moved to Tokyo as my career came to a halt at that point.  I have absolutely no regrets in moving to Tokyo, but I have to admit that I had to learn how to cope with myself, without an easily recognizable career goal.  I wanted to do everything, I threw myself into learning Japanese, I started a distance learning course, I started writing, I started running, I was all over the place.  I was probably hell to live with for the entire year, in both a positive and negative way; all together.  I guess I was kind of schizophrenic.

After I started working again, I realized that I had less time to ponder about things.  Less time to think means less time for my mind to wander.  I also realized that I needed to give myself a goal, a target…. something to work towards.

I still have not found my new goal yet, but I am confident that I will know it soon.  First step for the new year, is to carve out a career path that works for me, for the next few years.  Then, it will be to work my interests and hobbies into my life, with more passion and clarity.  Sounds like a good plan?  Let’s see how it plays out….

But in the meantime, I have a two week holiday in London to enjoy first!

いってきます!