It has not been a productive week, but yet she couldn’t get anything done. She is not concentrating at meetings and every time she sits down to do something, her thoughts wander elsewhere. It has been frustrating, especially with things needing to be done, but she is resigned to the fact that her mind… well, has a mind of its own.
She’s been trying to work on a proposal for a new dissertation topic. With just three months to write her MA dissertation, she wants it to count, she wants it to be on something that she is (at least currently) passionate about. The gist of the topic is there, but the research is proving to be tedious, with too many ideas and angles floating about. She knows that she has a good supervisor at hand, but she wants it to be first and foremost, hers. The plan is to spend some time searching the British Library records this afternoon and order some books for tomorrow… heading there in the morning to make it count. Yes, that sounds like a good idea in her head.
The lack of a job and income for two years now is getting to her. She knows that they are still living comfortably, but the lack of a job and the end of scheduled classes on her MA means a lack of routine. That is probably one of the problems in the increased procrastination. Daily interactions seem to be the best way to inspire and to get the creative and research juices going. So, the hunt for a job is on, but it’ll be for something part-time, in order for her to be able to spend time on her writing and research. A few weeks back, she saw an interesting job advertisement on a specialist site. It has led to two interviews so far that seemed to be positive, but she doesn’t want to think too much into it, in case of disappointment. The idea of working again, especially in the industry that she has once decided to abandon, fills her with anxiety, nervousness, but also the comforts of familiarity and security. It is probably just normal emotions of change anticipation.
So what of her writing? She recently reread her half-written novel and was surprised at how much she enjoyed it… whilst feeling slightly ashamed for the lack of humility in the reaction, but secretly proud at the same time. She wants to have that completed soon, so that she can at least self-publish it electronically and have something out there for people to read and enjoy. She is also feeling the excitement and stresses of the transmedia science fiction project, Earth.0 which is moving into the crunch phase now. Funding is needed in order to make it worthwhile for her and her project partner, so they have plans to change gears, speed up… to increase the stakes.
Clearly busy, she sits, idly typing away whilst contemplating how it is that she still has time to procrastinate. Perhaps the Time Bankers are playing a trick on her. Perhaps she is not in real-time and is stuck in a time loop of some sort. Whatever it is, she realises that it says 21st June on her calendar. Summer solstice, the longest day of the year was yesterday, but yet, summer does not seem to have arrived in London.
She wonders at where the last six months have gone…