Faith no more

Being in Japan made me think of many things, and one of it is about relationships.  Monogamy is not taken as seriously here as it is in other places I have lived in.  For example, I had read a magazine article that said, “because affairs are common in Japan, divorce rates are low.”  I did a double-take when I read that, as surely it should say “even though affairs are common…”

Marriage is seen to be a contract between two willing parties.  A contract which means a few things; the husband will provide for the family, whilst the wife ‘manages’ the household, and that there should be one or two kids.  I have heard that once there are two children in the picture, things in the bedroom get placid and both the husband and the wife look elsewhere for excitement.

I do not agree or disagree with this and merely accept it as the way it is here.  I don’t however agree when foreigners, coming from a different cultural background practice this because of the willingness of the ‘local participants’ who are usually female.  If a burger throws itself at you when you’re hungry, would you still eat it even though you have a nice cooked dinner waiting?  Perhaps that is not a good metaphor, as it is not as serious an issue (if you overeat), but you get the point.

There is someone I know, who I had thought was different from the crass foreigners around as he seemed to be in a loving relationship with his wife and together have two children.  I was however proven wrong and left gobsmacked as I saw him in town a few nights back, holding hands and laughing with a young local girl.  I guess Charisma Man strikes again.

I told this story to another friend of mine, who just told me that it is best not to have faith in anyone these days.  I know that is not the solution, but perhaps that way, I won’t ever be disappointed again?

Or, is it just that what I hold as important principles in life are different from others and that I should just accept that?