We need to have a passion for something in life. Just one thing (or more, if you like) that drives us, gives us a purpose of fulfilment and sense of happiness. This passion that we have should be of a material thing or an action; like a hobby or a job. It shouldn’t be a person.
Passionate ties between people is what causes emotional negativities like guilt, jealousy and anger. Yes, it also brings feelings of happiness and joy but that is because human emotions come in opposite pairs. To know that you are happy, you have to first be unhappy, or else the feeling you have is really just a neutral one. To be content, you really need to have felt a longing or jealousy. If not, you will not know that you are truly satisfied with what you have.
When there is a passionate relationship with another person, you stop controlling the situation. The other person becomes an uncontrollable entity. That is why we tend to see characteristics of strength to be based on emotional control.
Look at the Jedi and Vulcan teachings, or even Buddhism. For us to be able to treat everyone with equal amounts of respect and empathy, we must be disconnected with all.
So, go ask yourself what your passion is in life. Be it in music, or film, or literature, or sports… whatever it is, make that your focus point. Get a sense of fulfilment from your passion and feel good about it. Bask in the contentment without guilt or fear.
Then, disconnect with the world and treat everyone with equal amounts of respect and empathy. You will then be able to really ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. For then, we will all be truly equal.